On DVD: New Moon

When this is posted many of my male readers (all four of you) will ask for my man card, but I have a few things to say to you:

• I'm married. My wife is a Twilight-nerd and wanted me to watch it
• The movie has vampires and werewolves
• Who's to say I didn't lose my man card the day I uttered the phrase, "I think I really like 'Sleepless in Seattle.'"

So, take your shots, you mocking horde. I will go on with my movie review.

What worked
It's almost impossible for me to not compare this to the first Twilight movie, which I reviewed last year. So I'm breaking it down, and saying why this was better in this movie:

• Better special effects. The effects were very cheesy in the first one. And though they weren't top notch in this one, they weren't distracting.
• Vampires fight werewolves. The first film suffered from having too little action. This one still didn't have enough, but it ramped it up.
• Less Edward. Robert Pattinson stinks. He plays Edward as this pouty, whiny, annoying guy, that I hope gets his head ripped off. Unfortunately he survives.
• The story works for the most part. It's not a great story, but it's interesting enough.

What didn't work
Still too much cheese and teen love angst for my taste. I would have also liked more action, more chasing vampires by werewolves, and more backstory about what the werewolves and vampires can and can't do. My wife said it's in the book, and maybe they left it out because all the Twilight nerds would already know. But I wanted to know more about the fantasy behind the world.

Who would like this
I'm guessing most Twilight fans or people who enjoyed the first movie would like it, though I don't know how far they strayed from the book (because I haven't read it). Also, if you like romantic action movies (a small genre to be sure), this fits.

Who wouldn't like this
If you hated the first one, this one might be worth a rental, but probably not. Also, if you loved the book and you're the type where movies ruin your favorite books, I'd stay away. It's also dark fantasy with vampires and werewolves, and some might be creeped out by that.

Closing Credits
It was a decent movie that kept me entertained. I'm not likely to watch another Twilight movie in the theater, mainly because I have a tendency to laugh during the extra cheesy sections, which may get me killed by a crazy mob of 14 year-olds and cougars. Still, it's not a bad movie, and I like fantasy, I like vampires and werewolves, and I was emotionally invested in the outcome. That's sufficient for me.

Chicks dig vampires

Twilight Movie Review

Score: 6/10

Now before any of you guys out there ask that my man-card be revoked, keep this in mind: My wife is eight months pregnant. If you need further explanation, you've either never been married to a pregnant woman or you're an idiot.

Now getting to the movie, it was decent. The first and third acts were enjoyable. The action was better than I expected. The acting was decent (with some very good supporting performances mixed in). And it helps that they started with a good story.

So why couldn't I rate the movie higher? Because the middle section of the movie made me laugh out loud in the theater. I received death glances from two 14-year-old girls who didn't like my reaction with their beloved Edward on the screen. But seriously: It was like a combining a Carpenters song with a scene from the Buffy TV show, and that is in no way a compliment.

Otherwise though, I enjoyed it. If I am going to have to endure 20 minutes of teenage love angst, at least I get a fight between two high-powered vampires at the end.

I had heard a lot about poor special effects, but they weren't that bad. Yeah, it more resembled a high budget TV show than a big Hollywood production, but this movie isn't about special effects. It's about making females age 12-99 fall in love with vampires. And seeing that we were in a half-full theater in Appleton, Wis., six weeks after it came out, I'd say the filmmakers did their job, even I'm not going to rush out and buy the DVD (unless my wife requests it).